Today the dreaded Lighten Up In 2012 newspaper article came out with my weight and picture. That was bad enough then I found out the internet had a full color picture.  Now the world can see me obese.  Some people say I'm crazy, some people say I'm brave but I can tell you, I'm desperate. I've seen others blogs and many tell a little bit about themselves but I haven't yet.  I'm 55yo and married. We have 4 children and 8 grandchildren aged from 3 months to 11 1/2 years.  I'm employed full time as a nurse but at a desk job. My story....My weight's been up and down most of my life. The chronic weight problems started after a car accident in 1986 resulting in 2 surgeries and some permanent damage.  It took quite a few years to get the weight back down.  In 1995 I had an accident at work that permanently damaged my back and took about a year for me to be able to walk normally.  I had a cardiac problem too that resulted in my heart racing all the time and wearing me out.  I eventually had surgery for it but have a chronic arrhythmia.  I struggled with trying to keep my weight down but it's really hard and it gets really depressing to be in pain all the time.  I did manage to lose 36 pounds.  About 3 years ago (December) a lady rear ended me driving her kid to school and that's what really did me in.  I didn't make a big deal about it because I'm not a litigious person and sometimes accidents just happen you know.  She'd had a perfect driving record and I felt bad for her.  Besides I already had neck problems BUT this time it affected my previously unaffected right neck & shoulder and being my dominate side really made things worse.  I've been in years of physical therapy and pain management since.  I sought solace in comfort food.  I'd feel bad about gaining weight, I'd feel bad about being in pain and get depressed and eat to make myself feel better.  Then I'd get even more depressed until I ended up over 200 pounds. By now I'd gotten so many medical issues caused by or exacerbated by obesity...,  metabolic syndrome, asthma, joint problems even my depression I'm sure. Self esteem zero.  I'd end up having to run to the doctor or urgent care and need steroids for chronic bronchitis or I'd get pneumonia which certainly didn't help.  Toward the end of last year I got pancreatitis caused by diabetes.  I was so tired somedays I just couldn't get out of bed. Soon I was well over 200 pounds and I'd had enough.  Change or die. I'd stepped up my pain management but I still hurt but could function a bit better, some days relatively pain free. I'd cut back on processed food and my Diet Coke intake but I still couldn't make the next step.  I saw the contest and decided to go for it.  Desperation is how I got here. Along the way I hope I can help someone else.  With my medical problems and physical limitations if I can get healthy I think almost anyone can. Now....Today was a bad day.  So much pain from trying to overdo with weights the day before.  Instead of feeling sorry for myself and reverting back to my old ways I do gentle range of motion and stretching.  It certainly does more good than sitting on the couch with a bag of Cheetos and a 2L of Diet Coke.  I also took my grandsons swimming at the YMCA.  The gentle movement of treading water and moving my arms back and forth in the water with them in the little pool really made a difference. Another day completed maintaining my diet 100%