It's really been bothering me about always being a "spoil sport" when it comes to food now. I was feeling selfish about always telling my hubby that no we STILL can't go to a favorite restaurant because they don't have meals that I can get or that I'd just get a salad. "No I Grandma can't try a piece of the cookie you made because I'm on a diet".  Any little "cheat" I had made me feel awful about myself even if it was a small taste.  My ruminations lead me to the fact that food was STILL controlling my life. There are very definite social and emotional aspects to eating. My hubby was shocked and pleased that I suggested his favorite Mexican restaurant on our "date night".  I think it was the most relaxed, pleasurable dinner we've had in awhile now. I left off the sour cream and just ate a few chips and salsa.  I didn't use an "app" at the table to figure out how many calories I was consuming.  Same with the raspberry reiseling wine and the cheese/cracker/sausage/homemade bread platter shared at the hot air balloon launch Saturday.  I allowed myself to eat but kept my intake (except for that darn homemade bread) within reason. The food was MEANT to be shared, commented on and enjoyed together.  I've finally gotten beyond having my eating control me and now I control my eating.  I let myself loose for totally pleasurable social experiences without letting it spiral out of control!  I was able to limit (except for that darn homemade bread) my selections without mindlessly eating.  I'm no longer afraid that I won't be able to get back on track and I have no guilt about a diet "holiday" every once in a while.  Just in case I ate a few more calories than I should I'll just work a little harder at exercise and eat a little less for a few days.  The danger is making a habit of  "holidays" but honestly after eating healthy 90% of the time I welcome getting back on track and eating healthy.  I don't feel so weighed down.  I'M IN CONTROL.